A Pint of Winners

Ah, the M Awards. Much like mounting any performance, show or concert, they’re great fun and a big pain in our collective butt. So why do we continue to run a readers-choice, across-the-arts-spectrum awards-night each year? Honestly, it’s such a wonderful affirmation of the local arts scene that now, after seven years, it’s hard to imagine not having them. But after five years of handing out simple wooden plaques, we decided it was time for a change. Thus, this year’s new and improved M Award, now in a completely recyclable format.

Yes, since our recent cigarette ads have been such a hit with readers, we decided to truly embrace the “sin factor” when it came to designing this year’s award. While both a silver hypodermic needle and a gold-papered doobie were considered, each was abandoned for being too impractical; there’s no safe place to use the needle and, due to the economic downturn, we can sadly no longer afford our office supply of medical marijuana.

Instead, the good folk at Phillips offered us a crate of their finest and faster than you can say, “Hey, bartender!” we’re giving away beer. Congratulations, Victoria artists! Your funding may have been cut, even though the cost of creating your work continues to rise, but now you can have a beer on us. Don’t like beer? Pour one for a pal and use the bottle as a flower vase, a chopstick holder or the perfect container for tall, thin paintbrushes.

By the time you read this, the actual event will be over and done, with the hosting duties ably handled by cover boy David Lennam and laughs courtesy of local comedian Wes Borg. And while you can read all about the winners on page 8, we thought it might be interesting to crunch some numbers and let you read between the lines of this year’s balloting process. (If only the coming provincial election would be this transparent.)

• Percentage of ballots completed online: 85

• Percentage of ballots completed on paper: 15

• Number of categories where the combination of online and paper ballots made a winning difference: 3

• Category where the combo of online and paper ballots made the biggest difference: Favourite playwright

• Number of absolute shut-outs: 0

• Most obvious way to detect stuffed ballots: Same handwriting, same colour ink

• Best tip for avoiding stuffing detection: Don’t put all the ballots with the same handwriting and the same colour ink in the same envelope

• Tightest race: Favourite Film Event (a three-vote difference)

• Person or event that got the most number of votes overall: Warhol: Larger than Life

• Category with most number of voters: Favourite Band

• Category with least number of voters: Favourite Fiction Book

• Main power-voting blocs: Fans of Asmira, CP Ballet, the Cheesecake Burlesque Revue, Atomic Vaudeville and anything associated with UVic

• Person or group who somehow managed to be a write-in in every single category: The Cheesecake Burlesque Revue

• Strangest write-in nomination: thrash metal band Horde of Anachron as the “Hardest Working Person in Local Dance”

• Group that was nominated before they’ve even mounted a single production: Blue Bridge Theatre (as “Most welcome new event or festival”)

• Most out-of-date response: Rootsfest as “Most Welcome New Event or Festival”

• Most hilarious ballot: The woman who wrote in her full name, address and phone number, then mailed in the ballot . . . having made absolutely no choices at all.

• Monday staffer who got the most write-in nominations: Bill Stuart (for “Most deserving of an M Award”).

Thanks to everyone who voted, and congratulations to winners and nominees alike! You help make Victoria a better place to live. M